As worship leaders, most of us have people who serve under our supervision. Some of those people might be paid, but most of them are volunteers: children’s choir directors, instrumentalists, section leaders, technical crew, etc. Those who are paid already have one type of validation built into their responsibilities. But, how do we “pay” the volunteers, those who give sacrificially of their time and gifts without much tangible return?
I have to admit, because I don’t usually need a lot of recognition, my default mode of thinking doesn’t include the recognition of others. It isn’t that I don’t think they need validation; it’s that I don’t think about it at all. The only time they hear from me is when something goes wrong, and that isn’t fair.
Complicating the matter is that one person’s preferred method of validation is not necessarily another person’s method of validation. I might give a heart-felt, “Thank you,” to everyone involved in our worship ministry and many of them will not connect with that and when asked if they feel appreciated, they’ll say, “No.” Or, I might give a little gift, say a devotional book or something. Some will be very appreciative and others won’t think anything of it.
Gary Chapman wrote a book some years ago entitled,The Five Love Languages. In this book, Chapman proposes that each of us naturally employs one or more of five “love languages”:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Receiving gifts
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
Although Chapman offers these methods of affirmation as ways of enhancing very close interpersonal relationships, e.g., husband-wife, parent-child, close friends, etc., I think they can be used in ministry as well. Of course, you’ll need to be careful how—or if—you use quality time and physical touch in a non-intimate relationship. These languages can be misinterpreted and can cause a lot of grief for everyone involved. Anything more than a quick, innocent hug, for example, is out of bounds. Quality time could include dinner with the volunteer and his or her family or one-on-one, iff1 the volunteer is the same gender you are.
The other languages are a little more easy to accommodate. Do they like gifts? A small devotional book or even a generic gift card will almost certainly suffice. Do they prefer words of affirmation? “Thank you for how you lead and model Christian love in an atmosphere of excellence with our children’s choir.” Be specific; don’t just say, “Thank you for all you do.” Do they prefer acts of service? Maybe you could arrange for a member of the youth ministry to cut the volunteer’s grass, or wash their car, or paint. Or, if you have time, you could do it yourself.
So how do you know what your volunteers’ love languages are? One way is simply to ask. You could do this when you recruit them. “Obviously, we don’t have the ability to pay you a salary for the work you’ll be doing. But how can we affirm you? How can we ‘pay’ you in other ways?” Another way to know how to affirm them is to get to know them, which takes time and energy on your part.
Regardless of how you do it, find some way to affirm those who volunteer in your area of ministry. Doing so will show that you care about them and that you appreciate their service. It shows that you know you can’t do it alone and that your ministry is a community effort to bring God glory.
Impacting the Kingdom through Worship,![]()
- Iff is spelled correctly for my usage here. It comes from the math world and means, “if and only if.” [back]

